i feared the best and loved the worst.

lately all i see are spaceships and shooting stars.
i feel positively mystical and free.

i never felt so wicked
as when i willed our love to die
and i was your silver lining
as the story goes.
i was your silver lining
but now i’m gold.

good luck wanderer.
i wish you nothing but love, joy, smooth roads, and a warm bed each night.

i finally feel some momentum in my life.
i spent the past year licking my wounds, essentially doing nothing.

reading things i wrote little over a month ago is very strange.
the girl writing that self depreciating garbage is miles away.
but it really was nice at the time to have an outlet to say things no one wanted to hear.
so now that i have decided i don't need secrets anymore,
if you go back and read things i wrote not all that long ago...
understand that i lost my mind for some time.
now i have found it, or at least most of it.

i let something stupid get me down for far too long.
i let another person affect my feeling of self worth,
and i blame no one but ME for that.
i ultimately decide how to feel.
it's done and over with,
filed under a folder labeled "the past."

i am on the road again,
and happy as hell to be here.
i don't need anyone to hold my hand.
i am strong, beautiful, and capable of anything.
if you disagree,
then with all due respect,
fuck off.

it's such a strange balance lately.
everyone fits in one of two groups.
i only contain love or hate
no in between.
all the grey areas, either bleached or stained.

i ramble on and on in my headtalking to no one but me.
these days life is full of plastic cups, long car drives, and cluttered horizons.
every song i hear reminds me of someone i know.
life just feels like a movie,and i'm not complaining.
everything is far from perfect and deliciously off kilter.

i miss the city
i'm coming back there soon
this time to make it my home.

i did it.
i left.
finally i am free.




i am going places and doing things.
have fun sitting right where you always were.
in the middle.
i'm ready to live.