i am just a speck of dust inside a giant's eye.

sometimes i get an overwhelming feeling to move.
i go on walks.
something primal tells me if my legs stop moving, my brain and heart will cease to function.
i will simply quit breathing and evaporate.

lately i have a horrible fear of fading away into anonymity.
100 years from now, no one will know my name.

i walk in puddles, to look back and see footsteps.
just to know for at least one minute, i left my mark somewhere, on something.

after all that has happened, i am just a girl, a child.
afraid of shadows, uncomfortable in the light.
i feel like an alien.
i hear people laughing and talking, everywhere.
i feel disconnected from it all, from the world.


i walk past families, houses lit up, lawns littered with toys, people talking in garages
and i feel ten thousand miles away.
i look up at the night sky,
and i swear i see movement
a hint of the cosmos collapsing.

small figures in a vast expanse.


this all sounds so much better inside my head.