loving like a landslide

last night i fell asleep crying and woke up dreaming.
the beginning of the film brought back memories.
happy memories that made me mourn the state of it all.

i distinctly remember seeing fireworks on the inside of my eyelids as we kissed.
in the background bowie wondered aloud about the possibility of beings on the red planet.
at the time it all seemed so climactic and perfect.
you still genuinely cared.
the night was full of embraces, whispers...
i couldn't recall ever feeling so loved and safe.


i am sure you haven't thought of those sorts of things since they happened.
i am a time filler for you.
entertainment while treading water.
and i am pathetic.
still loving you.
craving an embrace or a genuine kiss.
standing by your side
braving insults and rejection,
all in hopes you will come to your senses before i do.
i still see a diamond in this pile of dust and bones.

i'll hold on until i can't anymore.
i wish i could tell you i love you.
i wish we could talk.
it may always be a story of me loving you and you loving her.
we always love those who hurt us the most, i guess.

and i thought i was bad news and would end up hurting you.
funny the way things turn out.