Tuesday, September 16, 2008

and what's new pussycat is that you were once a lioness

somedays i just don't feel pretty.
and i look at all these gorgeous happy girls with boyfriends who love them.
they've got goals, homes, children.
am i so defective no one can love me like that for more than a few months?

i always find these guys who treat me so wonderfully for a while.
and then i spend a year or two waiting for that love to come back.
i feed off memories of a person long gone.
i replay scenes and dialogue we will never have again.
i hold on to those few great moments and say
"this will pass, it will come back."
i try to love enough to make up for your lacking.
and it never does.

what if it never does?

maybe i am just that much more attractive and lovable when i am single.
i'm beautiful and carefree and i laugh
i do things for ME
i appear stronger.

but if anyone knew anything,
they would know standing by someone's side
takes far more strength than standing alone,
because often, in my experience,
you've got to help hold that other person up.

that's the beauty of love;;
pushing and pulling
give and take
it's all action and reaction.
filling in hollows
smoothing out peaks
it's only hard when you make it that way.

open your eyes.

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