i don't know.
i guess it's sort of like that sometimes.
i sat in a dark theater, watched a movie alone.
and i laughed.
i laughed and realized i'm completely fine finding joy in things, with or without someone by my side.
today has been more down than the past week,
but i'm not going to let that get to me.
i feel like freedom and magic and beauty a lot of times.
i realized i take care of everyone i encounter, because i want to make people feel better.
i like to think that someday someone will do that for me.
i can take care of myself,
it would just be nice for someone to step in and take some weight off now and again.
someone to look at me and say HEY I CARE AND YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL EVEN WHEN YOU'RE ALL SWEATY AND ANGRY!
but time marches on, no one does,
so i wake up each day, look in the mirror and say
"you are beautiful. you are strong. you are worth all the love in the world."
maybe, deep down, i am just meant to be a martyr.
i'll love myself every step of the way.
and i will love you enough for the both of us.