i couldn't go back to sleep because i knew that this was the last time i could allow myself to act as if i cared.
i excel in pretending not to care, as you will come to find out.
and perhaps, wonder if i really cared at all.
filled it to the brim with hot water.
i scrubbed the smell of you from my skin,
and untangled the knots you left in my hair.
knowing i'm better than this doesn't help,
and you thinking i'm beautiful gets me nowhere.
i said quit being dumb,
knowing good and well
that entailed quitting me.
i hope everything works out for you,
and you figure life out more easily than i did.
bought two new books today, and a notebook to keep in my purse.
whoever said laughter was the best medicine,
never read bukowski.
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